Bullying
It is an issue that most of us
take for granted, that some children will try to exercise control over others
and others will be controlled. It happens in schools, on school buses in
school playgrounds and with friends at home. And it’s commonly called bullying.
We don’t take much notice of
it, but if bullying is for prolonged periods and intense it can have a
lasting effect on the victim – on his or her studies, as well as their
emotional development. To help you sit up and take notice if your child is
being affected by this problem, here are some pointers:
What is bullying?
One definition I found says
that “Bullying occurs when a person willfully and repeatedly exercises power
over another with hostile or malicious intent.”
Having said this, it can take many forms: hitting, threatening, abusing
verbally and physically, humiliating, harassing, etc.
Bullying may also assume less direct forms such as gossiping, spreading rumors
or even shunning. These days a more
dangerous form of bullying, called Cyber bullying is becoming common, in which
children use tools like the facebook to “gang-up” against a victim.
How does it affect kids?
Obviously it embarrasses them,
and eventually leads to fear and low self-esteem. They can also get
anti-social, avoiding going out, so that they stay out of the bully’s way.
Some even refuse to go to school if they feel really harassed. The
psychological scars left by bullying often endure for years. Evidence
indicates that "the feelings of isolation and the loss of self-esteem
that victims experience seem to last into adulthood"
How to prevent it?
Victims will seldom talk about
being bullied. But you can see signs that should clue you in. Children that
seem suddenly withdrawn, anxious, or unwilling to be sociable; if their
school performance drops – these are all warning signs.
Talk to your child without
confrontation. Try and find out the kids in his/her school group, or those that
come home in the same bus or car pool. First talk to the bully. If nothing
happens, make sure you talk to child’s teacher/school or the child’s parent.
At the same time build their self-esteem. Draw attention to all the things he
is capable of and focus on them, etc.
Lubaina Bandukwala
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